:   Heelthtravast

Dear Chad,

Thank you for the reminders. It is my great pleasure to report my out-of-season stay in the Hibernation Hive is over, through, finished, finalized, and so on. As you may recall, training for future champions of The Mansion of Happiness commences this week in Sepulveda, California. I will be attending if Dr. Mark A. Teruel finds it in his heart to offer me a ride. It’s funny that you should mention him. Since our encounter at the Conference for Supremely Attentive Nephrologists, he has largely ignored me. Of course, our initial encounter was turbulent, to say the least. I can hardly blame him for being hesitant. I too am a bit reluctant. I may be hopping into a vehicle with a man who could leave me in an ice-filled tub sans kidneys without a second thought. And, perversely, that’s what makes it exciting.

Shall I quell my excitement with thoughts of your boredom in strange lands? Perhaps. I sincerely doubt that the humidity, which is likely the cause of your lethargy, has anything to do with the tedium in which you wallow. Though I do see your point.

Would you be so kind as to send me a bee keeper’s outfit in the next care package? I nearly forgot to ask. I’m hoping to make a bold fashion statement at next month’s dental appointment. Don’t worry, I’m not getting my teeth cleaned, I’ll just be prattling with the dental hygienists.